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How to live forever

Discussion in 'Too Hot for Swamp Gas' started by Trickster, Sep 25, 2023.

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  1. Sep 25, 2023 #1
    Trickster

    Trickster VIP Member

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    The Man Who Thinks He Can Live Forever

    “Johnson, 46, is a centimillionaire tech entrepreneur who has spent most of the last three years in pursuit of a singular goal: don’t die. During that time, he’s spent more than $4 million developing a life-extension system called Blueprint, in which he outsources every decision involving his body to a team of doctors, who use data to develop a strict health regimen to reduce what Johnson calls his “biological age.” That system includes downing 111 pills every day, wearing a baseball cap that shoots red light into his scalp, collecting his own stool samples, and sleeping with a tiny jet pack attached to his penis to monitor his nighttime erections. Johnson thinks of any act that accelerates aging—like eating a cookie, or getting less than eight hours of sleep—as an “act of violence.”

    The jet pack is intriguing. He apparently believes erections are “acts of violence”. Elsewhere, he reports having erections over the course of the night totaling 3.5 hours!

    I can’t wait for the replies from our resident wags.
     
  2. Sep 25, 2023 #2
    tampagtr

    tampagtr VIP Member

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    So foolish. So wrong
     
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  3. Sep 25, 2023 #3
    wgbgator

    wgbgator Premium Member

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    Why would you want to live like that?
     
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  4. Sep 25, 2023 #4
    ridgetop

    ridgetop GC Hall of Fame

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    I prefer to enjoy my years with my family. I won’t go out of my way to do damage but also won’t go without I order to add a few months or years. I don’t drink, haven’t some drugs in decades and don’t smoke. Try to exercise somewhat regularly (enjoy it most days) and eat a decent diet with fruits and veggies and meat ( most closely to Mediterranean.. but love a good ribeye on e or three times a year..). If I only Lu e to 80 vs 75 but can enjoy life… I am happy.
     
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  5. Sep 25, 2023 #5
    slocala

    slocala VIP Member

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    Life extension and transition to a digital being will be an interesting conundrum for the law. Questions about property law will fill the virtual text books.

    Slightly off topic, first verse of this song is on point…

    If I'd started from the top
    And worked my way down
    There'd be no reason
    To live forever
    To live forever

     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Sep 25, 2023 #6
    DesertGator

    DesertGator VIP Member

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    One of my absolute favorites from DT. Rare to see them linked anywhere.
     
  7. Sep 25, 2023 #7
    AndyGator

    AndyGator GC Hall of Fame

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    Yeah, I would not consider that living currently, much less "forever".
     
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  8. Sep 25, 2023 #8
    mrhansduck

    mrhansduck GC Hall of Fame

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    I saw a meme recently that said something like, "Research shows that those who eat well and exercise will be healthier when they die." Struck me as kinda funny.
     
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  9. Sep 25, 2023 #9
    G8tas

    G8tas GC Hall of Fame

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    I don't think he is expecting to live forever. He just wants to live as long as he can by making his health optimal
     
  10. Sep 25, 2023 #10
    WarDamnGator

    WarDamnGator GC Hall of Fame

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    Tell me more about this jet pack.
     
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  11. Sep 25, 2023 #11
    sierragator

    sierragator GC Hall of Fame

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    we are all terminal, make the most of it!
     
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  12. Sep 25, 2023 #12
    RIP

    RIP I like touchdowns Premium Member

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    Where do they sell penis jetpacks? Asking for a friend.
     
  13. Sep 25, 2023 #13
    littlebluelw

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    Dude way overthinking this eternal life thing.
    John 3:16
     
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  14. Sep 25, 2023 #14
    jhenderson251

    jhenderson251 Premium Member

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    Reminds me of the character from Catch 22 that tries to make his life as dull and boring as possible to extend how long he perceives his life.
     
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  15. Sep 25, 2023 #15
    lacuna

    lacuna VIP Member

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    Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp as dawn has come.
    Rabindranath Tagore
     
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  16. Sep 25, 2023 #16
    docspor

    docspor GC Hall of Fame

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    Interesting. Seems neuroscience sez just the opposite. stimulating your brain makes life "feel" longer. Like when I travel & do diff stuff every day, a week seems like a really long time compared to a normal week. Also, I recall hitting a little stump or something covered by powder 5 years ago. I still remember the split second - which seemed like a long time - thinking, shit, I'm gonna hit a tree. it had a slowing of time effect.

    p.s. drive home a diff route today to "extend" your life
     
  17. Sep 25, 2023 #17
    docspor

    docspor GC Hall of Fame

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    Darkness is not the opposite of light, it's the absence of light.
    Beastie Boys
     
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  18. Sep 25, 2023 #18
    jhenderson251

    jhenderson251 Premium Member

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    I believe that was the intended joke in the book.
     
  19. Sep 25, 2023 #19
    slocala

    slocala VIP Member

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    Never forget Dunbar, he got disappeared!
     
  20. Sep 25, 2023 #20
    tilly

    tilly Superhero Mod. Fast witted. Bulletproof posts. Moderator VIP Member

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    Looks like @RIP's and @WarDamnGator's wives have hacked their accounts yet again. Stronger passwords are your friends fellas.
     
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