I recently read the book High Conflict by journalist Amanda Ripley. It’s a lovely book arguing that sometimes conflicts take on a life of their own apart from the actual disagreement that started them. She calls these cases “high conflict.” In her words, “When conflict escalates past a certain point, the conflict itself takes charge. The original facts and forces that led to the dispute fade into the background. The us-versus-them dynamic takes over. Actual differences of opinion on health care policy or immigration stop mattering, and the conflict becomes its own reality. High conflict is the invisible hand of our time.” Of course this made me think about this board. She includes a list of questions to help readers assess whether they are in high conflict, which is suggested by answering yes to five or more of them. I thought it would be interesting to have us take the quiz. Here are the questions (slightly paraphrased by me): Do you lose sleep thinking about this conflict? Do you feel good when something bad happens to the other person or side? If the other side were to do something you agreed with, would it feel uncomfortable to acknowledge this out loud? Does it feel like the other side is brainwashed or in a cult? Do you ever get stuck ruminating over the same grievances over and over? When talking with people who agree with you, do you say the same things over and over? Has someone who knows you well told you they don’t recognize you anymore? Do you ever defend your own side by pointing out the other side does the same or worse? Do you see different people on the other side as essentially interchangeable? Do you use words like always, good, bad, us, them, or war? Do you find it hard to remember when you last felt genuine curiosity about the other side’s thoughts, intentions, or actions?
2 Yes for sure and a couple of sometimes or sortas so I gave myself a 3-4. I do think some of the more fervent trump supporters act as if they are in a cult. I’m sometimes guilty of whataboutism. I do sometimes enjoy when rude comeuppance happens to someone on the other side IF they are a giant self-righteous a-hole.
None, thankfully. I don't think I belong here. Seriously, if you keep in mind that each person is an individual, who are most likely feeling or doing what in their mind is in the best interest for not only themselves but many, it's hard to fall into these traps. There are genuinely bad people, but vast majority are inherently good everyday people trying to navigate life best they can. I've never had hate in my heart for a politician. Even those I vehemently disagree with. 99% are doing what they think is best.
I am often stuck on these two: Does it feel like the other side is brainwashed or in a cult? Do you ever get stuck ruminating over the same grievances over and over? Things like Pizzagate/Trump's Big Lie/The Storm is Coming, I will waste so much time trying to figure out why anyone could possibly believe that. There are endless rabbit holes to wander down, but there is nothing there. I want to understand why they believe, but they can't tell me. Which leads me to the conclusion they must be brainwashed or in a cult.
I'm guilty of whataboutism for sure with the caveat that I find myself doing it when in discussion with people who in my opinion are extreme right OR left. Of course defining what I consider extreme or beholden to or against said political party will be up for debate itself. Basically I think it's difficult to find people who genuinely try to be objective or open minded and sometimes those that do are still attacked because the politics today are fueled with divisive, hyperbolic rhetoric moreso than ever. All or nothing it seems. Edit to add that I'm guilty of schadenfreude. Again though, my schadenfreude is bipartisan.
Thanks for the information. I think I will give it a read. FWIW, no one be surprised if I come back with a proposal to change the name of this forum to “Too High Conflict for Swamp Gas”!
Me thinks you’re being a bit optimistic on 99% of politicians doing what they think is best. Now, if you’re going to limit that statement to “doing what’s best for votes or for their own financial interests, then I could agree with you.
Now this is truly impressive. I think you underestimate how naturally it comes for most of us to get locked into an us vs them mindset. One of my central focuses in life is not to get ensnared by high conflict, and intellectually I agree with basically everything you’ve written. However, I still found myself choosing 3-4.
You know, in their defense (sort of), I am skeptical of most explanations people give for their beliefs. Not that people can’t say words that seem to explain their beliefs, but that it’s difficult for us to know these answers, so we often just make them up. Ben Franklin well anticipated recent neuroscience evidence when he wrote, “So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do.” That said, pizzagate is ridiculous from a perspective of evidence. It’s probably best explained using social signaling theory, (e.g. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X22001610), but then again so too might this explain more reasonable political consensuses.
If I may paraphrase Jay Z: If you have those problems I feel bad for you son, I've got 99 problems, but those aint one
Which conflict? If I focused on the Trump/MAGA movement, my answers would be: 1. No. 2. Maybe? How are we defining something bad? I'd feel good about Trump going to jail if he's guilty of his crimes. But I don't wish death upon people who voted for him. 3. Yes, a little. I'd probably make a joke that I finally agree with them on something. 4. Yes, some of them. 5. No. 6. Possibly. I'm unoriginal. 7. No. 8. Yes. 9. No. 10. Sometimes, yes. 11. No.
This board can still surprise you. Based on your takes on conservative viewpoints, I would have thought for sure you’d have at least a couple of these.
All principles that are opposed are actually bound together dialectically. Heaven means nothing without a Hell. Communism means nothing without capitalism. Embrace the dialectic, my friends.
I think choose whichever conflict feels the strongest. I also focused on Trump/MAGA, as I don’t feel particularly at odds with the other conservatives or mainstream liberals.
