Playoffs!!

Most of the parents these days encourage the showboating and get mad at coaches for trying to discipline their kids. Different world. My dad would have let my coach borrow his belt if I got outta line.

 

Actually, I found that treating kids decently was pretty effective. Maybe, the kids I helped coach were different from the ones you knew. Years ago- late '80s- Harry Tholen, the long time Santa Fe College bsb coach, held a clinic for youth coaches and reinforced the idea that a good youth coach teaches kids to love the game. He had a low opinion of youth coaches who screamed at kids- and there are plenty of them around. One thing he said that has stuck with me was, "Never criticize who does the wrong thing on the field when you never taught him how to do the right thing."

Beating kids with a belt certainly can change their behavior, but what it teaches too many kids- especially boys- is that violence is a useful means of reinforcing dominance and control over others who are smaller or weaker. Some kids grow up admiring the violent adult and wanting to follow that example. Their own kids and adult partners sometimes suffer badly from that lesson. Others grow up committed to never hurting others the way they were hurt by dad, coach, teacher or others.

 

Only got the belt from my dad a handful of times. And he didn't hit very hard. It was mostly theater.

On the other hand I was severely switched by a nun with a wooden pointer when I was in first grade. My back was full of bloody welts. Never said a word when I got home so my folks were quite surprised when they gave me my evening bath.

 

@The Boss—

Again, good points. Throughout all of my coaching years which included FL JUCO, FL HS, and youth leagues each level required its own approach and instruction.

Without fail I always had the same practice with my youth league teams.

1) You’ve got to make it fun first. (Without their attention you don’t have a chance.)
2) Teach’em sound fundamentals.
3) Everything else is gravy.

You need/have to feed their desire and drive to play up to the next level of the game for them to have a chance to be truly successful.

 

You don’t have to yell and scream to instill discipline, but you have to instill discipline. My Dad spanked me for misbehaving, but I have never considered him a violent man. He did have rules and there were swift consequences for breaking them.

What you’re talking about sounds different than what I’m talking about.

 

That's a very good list. I gave up coaching youth bsb after the first year on a full size diamond, I felt I had reached the limit of my ability to teach them more and better bsb skills. My top goal, starting with T-ball was to create an opportunity for kids to love playing and watching baseball as much as I always have. I was lucky to have had a couple of very supportive youth league coaches when I was a kid and I never had to put up with coaches/dads who yell at kids (or who are willing to strike them with weapons).

 

I think we are talking about pretty much the same thing. Past generations passed on many practices that we now understand were best ended. There are many behaviors that are better left behind. I've heard violence explained by the line, "I was spanked with a hand/switch/belt/other and I turned out fine." Too often it was said by people being held accountable for inflicting serious harm. In many of those instances, the person convinced me they probably would have turned out to be a better person had they not suffered whatever it was they were minimizing.

The same science that finds corporal punishment CAN be physically and emotionally harmful also finds that mild and infrequent corporal punishment has little or no serious, lasting harm. At the center of the matter is that discipline and punishment are very different things. I don't believe I resent that my parents spanked me, but I now understand they were wrong and I never would use their mistake as a justification for repating it against my own kids. Kids naturally blame themselves for being punished, even if the punishment was unjust and often are quick to defend the people who hurt them.

 

I am glad your approach has worked for you. Whatever some of these other parents are doing simply ain’t working. The soft approach mostly worked for my brother. My mom’s scowl was enough for him to comply. I tested boundaries, and still do. It’s mostly household appliances whipping my ass nowadays, but I still have a tendency to learn things the hard way. I do not think being coddled would have been the right approach for me and appreciate the way my parents raised me. It made me strong.