Tucker Carlson Says Demon Attack Left Him Bleeding In His Bed With ‘Claw Mark’ Scars

People who say stuff like that fall into two categories… liars and loonies… probably had to make up a story to tell his wife after a prostitute fought back a little…

 

Obv banging another woman

 

Weird.

 

Obv banging another person.

FIFY

 

The scarier part is that there are probably literally millions of people who believe him.

I was listening to this story on NPR about a Nigerian charity that helps people clear their name when they are accused of being witches (so the people don't get lynched). I was thinking "man, can you imagine living somewhere where that was a possibility?"

Then this story pops up. Maybe it's time to open a US-based chapter?

 

Tucker's "Demon"

 

Sounds like his wife must have found him with claw marks on his back and he needed to make up an excuse.

 

I love the "Oh I asked my evangelical assistant, she said it happens all the time!" and that is somehow authoritative.

It's like "I asked the Nigerian who accused me of witchcraft if it was common. She said "oh yeah, there are witches everywhere""

 

Reclaiming one of their own?

 

This assclown could be our next president in 2028. I wish I was joking. Same goes for Rogan. We have jumped the shark as a nation.

 

Or man

Ah @obgator beat me to it

 

Got drunk, picked up a hooker who happened to be a demon. You guys going to pretend that’s never happened to you?

 

Rogan has no interest in politics. He's sitting pretty right where he is.

 

Here's a pretty comprehensive list of presidential candidates in 2028:

Top 58 Instagram Influencers List

EDIT to add Mr. Camacho

 

If it makes him a better person, great, but he may become just like many newborns and evangelicals. That is to say, he really didn't experience Jesus.

 

Some of you have never tangled with a succubus and it shows.
Definition of SUCCUBUS

a demon assuming female form to have sexual intercourse with men in their sleep

 

I do so voluntarily, but it's expensive