The last quote in I_boy’s post #83 says it all for me. Mr. Oher felt like family and proclaimed it. Until evidence comes out that the Touhys screwed him out of money that was rightfully his, I will have to believe both parties and ignore Mr. Oher’s lawyer(s). I hope it isn’t true, but it wouldn’t be unusual if an NFL millionaire, for whatever reason, has realized that he blew through his stack without adequate planning for the future. Thought just occurred to me that the Touhys could have been good family advisors by helping him acquire a couple/few restaurant franchises without putting a dent into his treasury since that is how the Touhys got rich enough to stay rich.
I don't know how that's a contradiction. We have an 18/19 year old being given legal documents, being told that a conservatorship is basically the same thing as an adoption, and asked to trust people who took him into their home and told him he was family. Do you assume that an 18 year old is going to just know the difference between adoption and conservatorships? Do you think he's going to know off the top of his head that adult adoptions are legal in Tennessee? Do you think he's going to read legal documents and understand perfectly the difference between these two things? Or do you think he's going to trust these people who had their attorneys draft these documents to make him "officially part of the family"? I reject your false dilemma. It's easy to understand how they could mislead him in this situation, regardless of his intellect, and he wouldn't realize it for years, especially if they let him handle his own affairs in the NFL. I see Oher as a "victim" insofar that I think it's really messed up that these people never adopted him, like they told him they would. The kid was already a top prospect when the Touhys took him in. To their credit, they did help him get his grades up so he could get into college. Yes, he did feel like family. They told him he was family. They told him the conservatorship would make him family. Why mislead him? Why not adopt him if they considered him family? It's easy for me to understand why he feels so angry and betrayed. Wouldn't you in shoes? I'd feel like they took advantage of me, even if they didn't take any money. They were able to use my story to their benefit for years by portraying themselves as my family. But when push came to shove, they chose not to officially make me part of their family. When you add in that Oher was upset for years about The Blindside movie and felt it hurt his NFL career, I can see why he's so angry right now. Keep in mind that the movie was not factually accurate and was spun in a way that glorified the Tuohys. I expect Oher felt that came at his expense. (He felt it portrayed him as stupid, unknowledgeable about football, and unable to easily learn, which wasn't accurate.)
My last take on this thread and it’s for gator_lawyer. I highly doubt that Oher felt like part of the Touhy family because they told him he was. Peace out.
maybe he didn’t understand it fully then, but now a decade and a half later he is just figured it out, even though he in the past has been quoted as understanding Touys were conservators? So far everybody that knows the family and has spoken up has publicly supported the family.
Someone’s got to provide balance to the homophobia here. In any event it’s eminently fair to point out that those Christos are loathe to criticize each other. The examples are legion. Duggars anyone….
Again, you seem to assume that people just know what conservatorships and conservators are. What reason would Oher have to review it? Who is "everybody"? And how does that change the facts? Did the Tuohys adopt Michael Oher? No. Could they have adopted Michael Oher? Yes. Why didn't they adopt Michael Oher? Why did they spend years implying they did?
Yeah, I'm not disputing that they treated him well when he was younger. You're evading the point. If they considered him part of the family, why didn't they adopt him? Why mislead him on what they were doing? Do you see why he would feel betrayed? I think a lot of folks are basing their understanding of this relationship on The Blindside movie. Oher wasn't some ignorant kid on the street they taught to play football. Oher was already a star football player when he moved in with them. I can see why he's feeling used.
At this point it seems we have pretty good evidence that the financial claims asserted by Oher were completely off based. They weren’t even in the ballpark. In my mind his credibility is greatly diminished. Given that, I have some doubts about his professed distress about the adoption. It’s likely all part of the effort to extort something out of the Touys . Now whether this is his brainchild or he is being manipulated into this by others I can’t say.
This article I think reflects where you are coming from. The Tuohy Family's Side Of The Story Has A Giant Hole At The Center | Defector
We have evidence his financial claims were off base. That doesn't mean he was being intentionally dishonest. Lewis basically confirmed that the terms Oher said they received were true ($250k lump sum and 2.5% royalties on profits). Based on the money the movie made, it's easy to understand why Oher would believe that he should have received millions and didn't. From what Lewis said, it appears the movie studio cheated everybody. You may say that Oher should have believed them. But it's easy to understand why he wouldn't after finding out that they lied to him about their relationship years ago, particularly when that would give one the impression that they were trying to use him. So no, I don't think this is extortion. I think Oher genuinely believes they kept that money from him. It appears he's wrong. We'll find out in due time. It does. I feel for the guy because he wanted a family. And I cannot understand why the Tuohys would tell him they wanted to make him part of the family and then not do it.
Oher was an elite prospect. They were Ole Miss boosters. He ended up starring for their alma mater. They had a movie made that glorified them (and portrayed him in a light he did not like). And then Leigh Ann Tuohy built a career off of that image. That isn't to say that the Tuohys did nothing for him or gave him nothing. But it is easy to understand from his vantage point why he might feel used.
Really, sending an offensive tackle to your alma mater isn’t going to make or break any program. The Tuohy’s didn’t have that movie made or had influence on what Hollywood decided to do with the movie. The movie was made from Micheal Lewis’s book The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game. The book is about how Lawrence Taylor changed the game and made the Left Tackle position important amongst the game of football. The Tuohy and Michael Oher story was thrown into the book. This is Michael Oher now trying to sell his new book about perseverance about him overcoming his obstacles growing up. He wants credit for making it and overcoming, which is BS on his part because no one makes it alone.
Perhaps a formal adoption would have required a re-write of the Touy’s estate plans, which they may have wanted to avoid.
Again, the point is the Tuohy’s didn’t have any creative control over the movie The Blindside or how Michael Oher was portrayed in it. Without the Tuohy’s there is a big chance that Oher doesn’t get into college because he was behind in school by his own admission in his 2011 book. The Tuohy’s provided him a family structure that he lacked, tutoring to get him through high school, and also the same tutor went to Ole Miss with Oher to help him get through college. Bottom line is No good deed goes unpunished, I did not understand this as a child but now I see it clearly.
That would kind of say it all, wouldn't it? They're a wealthy couple. They could easily afford to have their attorney amend their estate plans. I have no idea what sort of say the Tuohys or Michael Lewis had in the film. And yes, the Tuohys helped him, and they were rewarded for it.
