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Tourists Should Visit England: the "Dirty Man of Europe"

Discussion in 'Too Hot for Swamp Gas' started by chemgator, Aug 27, 2022.

  1. chemgator

    chemgator GC Hall of Fame

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    England, which was the birthplace of civilization to hear British people tell it, has a small problem. They can't seem to keep their poop off of their beaches. Their leading environmental organization, SAS (Surfers Against Sewage) puts out notices for which beaches are, ahem, less respectable than they could be. Apparently, the poorly named island Plague Island has been renamed Poop Island.

    Sewage-covered beaches risk turning England into the 'dirty man of Europe'

    I didn't know that England had a peak summer period for pooping. It must be difficult to be constipated for nine months out of the year. Should the U.S. be sending celery and other fibrous vegetables to Britain in the off-seasons? This does explain the expression on Prince Charles' face most of the time.
    If I were Britain, I would refrain from allowing the New York Times (or CNN, for that matter) to assist in improving tourism for the British Isles. They aren't helping.

    The Brits have not updated their sewage system since the Victorian Times. For those keeping track, that's the century before last century. I know the British like their traditions, but couldn't they let this one go and modernize their sewage system? They took to automobiles and airplanes--couldn't they embrace the magic of modern toiletry?
     
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  2. GatorFanCF

    GatorFanCF Premium Member

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    Perhaps now we know why Brit food tastes like crap :cool:
     
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  3. Trickster

    Trickster VIP Member

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    That's just one of many problems they have due to Brexit, which has little to do with the sewage situation, but which is proving to have been a disaster.
     
  4. Trickster

    Trickster VIP Member

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    Not my experience. Depends on where you go. American food could be said to be crap. Think of all the incredibly unhealthy fast food joints, and all the ads promoting them. We outlaw cigarette ads, but not the equally deadly fast food ones.
     
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  5. gtr2x

    gtr2x GC Hall of Fame

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    Good thing is few tourists go to GB for the beaches.:cool:
     
  6. LimeyGator

    LimeyGator Official Brexit Reporter!

    The whole country is a poop-show right now. No hyperbole at all. Dreadful, inept populist-driven Government. Who saw that coming eh?

    I've never known anything like it.
     
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  7. AgingGator

    AgingGator GC Hall of Fame

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    There is an old joke about European Heaven and Hell.

    In European Heaven:
    English are the police
    French are the cooks
    Germans are the mechanics
    Italians are the lovers
    Swiss are the government

    In European Hell:
    Germans are the police
    English are the cooks
    French are the mechanics
    Swiss are the lovers
    Italians are the government
     
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  8. phatGator

    phatGator GC Hall of Fame

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    That was the first thing I thought of.:D
     
  9. phatGator

    phatGator GC Hall of Fame

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    England swings like a pendulum do
    Just take care not to swim in the poo


    (apologies to Roger Miller :) )
     
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  10. RealGatorFan

    RealGatorFan Premium Member

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    Yeah I wouldn't laugh. My brother-in-law has his boat moored in Mobile and with all the rain last week, the sewage system overflowed and dumped enough sewage into the ocean to make England the cleanest country on the planet. He was about to fish until he noticed strange brown lumps in the water and then the smell hit him. No telling how many millions of gallons of crap is floating out near the panhandle.
     
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  11. citygator

    citygator VIP Member

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    Charlotte
    I am not one to generally subscribe to stereotypes but as much as I love London I only dine well there on international food. The local fair really isnt very good. Good Indian, Italian, etc places but an English Pub is to drink in not eat.
     
  12. citygator

    citygator VIP Member

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    Charlotte
    You should move here... we are working like a well oiled machine. It's quite extraordinary.
     
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  13. AgingGator

    AgingGator GC Hall of Fame

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    I would not want to be boat mechanic up there. Cleaning out water pumps is going to be a shitty line of work for the next few weeks.
     
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  14. mrhansduck

    mrhansduck GC Hall of Fame

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    The best meal I had in England was at a nice French restaurant. Excellent. The Kebab van was also great. To me, the British food was bland. People were great though.
     
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  15. AgingGator

    AgingGator GC Hall of Fame

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    We’re already commiserating greatly over the Brits being the cooks. Imagine how bad it’s going to get here when we talk about French engineering, German police, and Italians running the government?

    I’m Italian and I don’t want any part of the latter.
     
  16. ThePlayer

    ThePlayer VIP Member

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    I can smell what the English are cooking. :oops:
     
  17. Gatorrick22

    Gatorrick22 GC Hall of Fame

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    Who are the people pooping on the beaches? Tourists or the locals?
     
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  18. phatGator

    phatGator GC Hall of Fame

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    Come on guys, there’s some great British food. Fish and chips, shepherds pie, steak and kidney pies, bangers and mash, and … well OK, maybe that’s about it. :D
     
  19. sierragator

    sierragator GC Hall of Fame

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    What a shitty post. ;)
     
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  20. littlebluelw

    littlebluelw GC Hall of Fame

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