Update: Kelly buzz..."The Thread" Hall of Fame bound.

upstategator · Nov 20, 2017

GatorDad63 said: ↑

I went to Home Depot today while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one.. You see, last night I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'you're definitely going to crap yourself' road-kill chili. Tasty stuff, although hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off..
Here's the thing. I had awakened this morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened.. No 'Watson's Movement. Despite the chilies swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my dear wife as 'thunder and lightning'.
Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for Home Depot, my quest being tools and such for my crews. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase.. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the toilets that the pain hit me.
Oh you know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh, Oh, Crap, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The chilies from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the toilets which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The chilies fired a warning shot.
There I stood, alone in the tool section, suddenly enveloped in a toxic cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as a clerk turned the corner and asked if I needed any help.
I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what his reaction would be to the toxic non-visible fog that refused to dissipate.. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor clerk, but didn't. I simply watched as he walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all he could do before gathering his senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving his arms about his head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. ........BIG mistake!!!!!
Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun. Suddenly things were no longer funny.. 'It' was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the toilet, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand explosion took place.
Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my a$$ is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'.. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Son-of-a-b!tch!, did it smell that bad when you ate it?', then quickly left.
Once finished and I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'
My smirking of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.
Made it back to work without my supplies, I realized that there was nothing to eat for lunch but the leftover chili I had brought, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Lowes. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Ba$tard$ claim they're going to have to repaint the store.
Click to expand...

Too long got hand stuck in toilet.

fierygator · Nov 20, 2017

icequeen said: ↑

Kiss from Tilly?
Click to expand...

Way to shut down the thread

puntersarepeopletoo · Nov 20, 2017

royalewitcheesee said: ↑

he just stated on his live feed that when all is said and done that he expects kelly to be at florida
Click to expand...

i turned it off for the falcons game, but him saying that makes me happier than someone on GatorCountry saying it

Gatorfred · Nov 20, 2017

gatorgrl said: ↑

I haven’t had any trouble getting younger men...if I want
Click to expand...

How you doin?

Gatorrick22 · Nov 20, 2017

icequeen said: ↑

Don't make me come back there.
Click to expand...

Oh please do...

tilly · Nov 20, 2017

mcogator said: ↑

Not a good comparo...We have Disney land here and Santa Monica is like 10 miles from UCLA. View attachment 29710
Click to expand...

Siesta Key says "hold my beer"

stp_gator · Nov 20, 2017

crl said: ↑

Views spectacular? I don't remember that. You want spectacular views go to HI. Or Switzerland.
Click to expand...

This is coming from a native Floridian. I grew up on and have spent the vast majority of my life living on flat land at sea level. Hills and mountains blow me away as I don't have those views to take for granted every day.

GatorMatt06 · Nov 20, 2017

Guess I'll just place this UT flight tracker here:
http://flightaware.com/live/flight/N700UT/history/20171120/2102Z/KTYS/KSTF

icequeen · Nov 20, 2017

@GatorDad63. Try this next time

fierygator · Nov 20, 2017

decataturgator said: ↑

I don’t post often but I read through these chat rooms every day and this is beyond the most ridiculous thread I have ever seen. It going to be 1k pages before a coach is announced.

What happens if we don’t get CK? Gator nation would be in complete disarray.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that was discussed way back on page 136

icequeen · Nov 20, 2017

Gatorrick22 said: ↑

Oh please do...
Click to expand...

1. You wish.

2. You can't handle me.

fierygator · Nov 20, 2017

Bushmaster said: ↑

If Chip Kelly isn't hired, half the people on this thread will get banned for a bit.
Click to expand...

I’ll just have to change my name once again

MarineG8R · Nov 20, 2017

GatorDad63 said: ↑

I went to Home Depot today while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one.. You see, last night I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'you're definitely going to crap yourself' road-kill chili. Tasty stuff, although hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off..
Here's the thing. I had awakened this morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened.. No 'Watson's Movement. Despite the chilies swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my dear wife as 'thunder and lightning'.
Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for Home Depot, my quest being tools and such for my crews. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase.. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the toilets that the pain hit me.
Oh you know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh, Oh, Crap, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The chilies from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the toilets which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The chilies fired a warning shot.
There I stood, alone in the tool section, suddenly enveloped in a toxic cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as a clerk turned the corner and asked if I needed any help.
I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what his reaction would be to the toxic non-visible fog that refused to dissipate.. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor clerk, but didn't. I simply watched as he walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all he could do before gathering his senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving his arms about his head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. ........BIG mistake!!!!!
Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun. Suddenly things were no longer funny.. 'It' was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the toilet, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand explosion took place.
Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my a$$ is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'.. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Son-of-a-b!tch!, did it smell that bad when you ate it?', then quickly left.
Once finished and I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'
My smirking of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.
Made it back to work without my supplies, I realized that there was nothing to eat for lunch but the leftover chili I had brought, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Lowes. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Ba$tard$ claim they're going to have to repaint the store.
Click to expand...

Holy crap. I haven’t laughed this hard in ages. Well done.

GatorMatt06 · Nov 20, 2017

icequeen said: ↑

@GatorDad63. Try this next time

Click to expand...

On a serious note that stuff is amazing!

grant1 · Nov 20, 2017

icequeen said: ↑

The topic. No one's seeing them unless I find Mr. Right. I'm a lady dammit.

In public anyways.
Click to expand...

That's the best place to be a lady.

wargunfan · Nov 20, 2017

joedirt said: ↑

The traffic on here sure has slowed on here recently!
Click to expand...

We're pacing ourselves.

DarthGat0R · Nov 20, 2017

GatorDad63 said: ↑

I went to Home Depot today while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one.. You see, last night I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'you're definitely going to crap yourself' road-kill chili. Tasty stuff, although hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off..
Here's the thing. I had awakened this morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened.. No 'Watson's Movement. Despite the chilies swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my dear wife as 'thunder and lightning'.
Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for Home Depot, my quest being tools and such for my crews. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase.. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the toilets that the pain hit me.
Oh you know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh, Oh, Crap, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The chilies from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the toilets which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The chilies fired a warning shot.
There I stood, alone in the tool section, suddenly enveloped in a toxic cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as a clerk turned the corner and asked if I needed any help.
I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what his reaction would be to the toxic non-visible fog that refused to dissipate.. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor clerk, but didn't. I simply watched as he walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all he could do before gathering his senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving his arms about his head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. ........BIG mistake!!!!!
Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun. Suddenly things were no longer funny.. 'It' was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the toilet, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand explosion took place.
Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my a$$ is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'.. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Son-of-a-b!tch!, did it smell that bad when you ate it?', then quickly left.
Once finished and I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'
My smirking of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.
Made it back to work without my supplies, I realized that there was nothing to eat for lunch but the leftover chili I had brought, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Lowes. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Ba$tard$ claim they're going to have to repaint the store.
Click to expand...

Got any more of that Chili?

evermoresg · Nov 20, 2017

It's possible that ol' Chip enjoys an evening alone just him and his lady friend Mary Jane, and that's a lot easier living out west.

fox · Nov 20, 2017

wargunfan said: ↑

What's yer 20 good buddy. wargunfan is 10-10 and on the side.
Click to expand...

Home 20

GatorDad63 · Nov 20, 2017

On another board I have been a member of for about 12 years we started a thread "Perv Forum" on 03/20/07. You can guess what is there by the title, No porn but not far off. The sort of pictures you saw a few days ago in here. We always boasted that it is the longest running thread on the internet. Fast forward and that thread is alive and well. The last post was 10 days ago, in 10 years, 9 months the stats are 379 pages, 5670 posts (Multiple pictures allowed per post) and 1,143,216 views. Gator Nation is Strong, Congrats!

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